The Wall In My Head

So I’m back, I honestly have been the world’s worst blogger, but it clearly was not the right time for me. But now I just want to write and write and write and write some more!

I have been listening to the soundtrack from Everybody’s Talking About Jamie, loads recently, I love the show and the children love the soundtrack, so it’s win win. There is a track called The Wall In My Head and its got me thinking. There is a huge wall in my head and it needs smashing down, not taking down brick by brick, literally sledge hammer smashing down. Pretty sure we all have these walls, some smaller than others maybe, but we all have them. Each brick contains doubts, worries, insecurities and just stops us from doing all the things we want to do, dream of and even need to do. Like writing this blog, I wonder who wants to read what I have to say, I’m just a regular stressed and busy mummy of three. What do I have to say that’s so interesting? Do I write well enough? Am I quirky enough? Am I witty enough? Does anyone really give a damn? You know what, who cares, I want to write and blog and that is what I am going to do.

Last week I had my hair all cut off, like short short. I had been toying with the idea for a while, I spent so many days with my long hair just scrapped back as I never had a second to myself to actually do it nicely. So I need / fancied / wanted a change. A new me, and not to be a scummy mummy, but to actually look a little bit like I had made an effort, rather than sighing at myself when I glanced in a mirror and saw my scraped back hair. You know what I nearly talked myself out of it though, right up to the actual morning of the day I was getting it cut. And you know why? Because I was wondering what other people might think about it, I knew damn well I wanted it cut, but I was more worried about what others would think. Like seriously wtf? You know what I love it, and have had so many compliments – they cannot all be lying to me, or smiling at me sympathetically whilst thinking ‘oh my goodness what on earth did you do?’ And actually even if they are, I don’t care (ok maybe I do a little, but I am working on that!).

So I’m working on me, working on this blog and knocking down that wall. Maybe the wall can fall down with the gorgeous Autumn leaves?

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